What the...???

My family has some strange conversations. My kids have all got a slightly odd sense of humour and amazing imaginations...

A colleague of mine was recently in South America, and brought a big box of chocolates back with her for me - a "thank you" for covering some of her classes while she was away. Rather than scoffing the lot at work, I took them home.

A couple of days later, as the last of the chocolates disappeared, Mrs RC commented that she liked them - somehow she had lost 4 pounds while eating them! Miracle weight-loss chocolate!

Then it started:

Maybe they had some nasty tropical disease in them, and you are going to waste away!

Perhaps the crunchy bits were eggs and you have now got parasites living in your intestines!

Or spiders of some sort!

Or a monster!

You might have something like Alien in you that is going to burst out of your stomach!

Or an illegal immigrant!!

WHAT?

There could be illegal immigrants in there, waiting to burst out. That would be a great way to beat the Border Police!


Should we all be certified?

Today's Sermon...

Warning: Not all of this story is true. Also this is not intended to offend anyone - my God has a sense of humour!


My dearly beloved Groupies!

Today I want to tell you about what happened to me this morning!

There I was, ridin' down the road like I usually do, when I noticed that a woman in a car was right behind me. I mean RIGHT BEHIND ME!

Then, as we went into a narrow bend, with cars a-comin' the other way, the car that was RIGHT BEHIND ME started to over take me!

Now, I knew that there wasn't room on that bend for me, the car that was now RIGHT NEXT TO ME and the cars that were a-comin' the other way, so I pulled over and stopped.

And I looked up to The Lord and I said to him:

"Please Lord, Smite this stupid bitch down!"

But The Lord in his wisdom spake to me, saying:

"Do not show anger to this poor person! Show her kindness and compassion so that she will take this forward and become a better person. Besides, I don't do Smiting any more, in case you hadn't noticed."

So, taking The Lord's advice, I smiled at the woman in the car, gave her a "thumbs up" and shouted:

"Good morning! Nice driving!"

And did my happy, friendly gesture make her happy?

Did it hell! A weaker man would have been struck dead by her glare!

So I looked up to The Lord again and said:

"Did you see that?"

And The Lord spake again:

"Ah screw it!"

And that is why the Police are currently trying to work out how a perfectly good car could suddenly explode in the middle of the city.

Take heed - Smiting is back on the menu!

Blaaaaahhhh

Been feeling a bit off colour. Started Saturday evening. Had a bath, went to bed, woke up at 11.50am on Sunday.

Felt OK for a while, but gradually sank as the evening approached.

Not really with it this morning - don't feel ill, just have this slight feeling of not quite fitting into my own body - my body is doing stuff and my brain is just tagging along for the ride.

Oh well.

A big moment (for me)

This lunch time I was headed to the shops when I passed a mobile blood donation unit.

I went in and gave blood - I am O Negative, so my blood went into those little bags that are headed for the baby unit at the hospital. Seeing this gave me a great feeling.

"What is the big deal here?", I hear you ask!

Well I will tell you. This is the first time I have been able to bring myself to do this since we lost Sophie. This was a very big moment for me, believe me.

So, have a great weekend - we are having a BBQ tonight (weather permitting!) and I have got a nice bottle of red waiting for me.

Hey, that reminds me of a radio show that I heard last night. A posh Englishman is being tortured by another posh Englishman.

"I say, this salmon is a little over cooked."

"I know". Evil laugh. "Here have some wine, it might help."

"What's this? Red wine with fish? YOU FIEND!"


Finally, for Terri...

Rebel Yell!

Still in need of flags and unit name plates, here are some of my American Civil War soldiers:

Early "fire and movement" tactics!

Forming up for the battle.



Firing line with eager reserves being restrained by their officer.

Here comes the cavalry!

Just a quicky...

Another busy week! Still haven't finished my first assignment! Hoping to get an hour in now...

Mrs RC has been volunteering as a classroom assistant at the local school. Her main reason for signing up was to work with a kid who is supposed to have severe learning difficulties, but while working with him she has found that he really doesn't have any real problems - except a lack of interest! Once engaged in the work he does OK. She has also found that this kid (7-8 years old) who is supposedly unable to remember numbers and letters actually plays online games and chats to friends via MSN Messenger!

Other kids with more real problems are also benefitting from Mrs RC's attention - she is a great teacher!

What have I been doing? Writing a song! Yes, I have got a great song in the works with what I think is a great guitar melody going through it. Need to get into a band - no I haven't heard any more from the punk band...

Painting soldiers! I am working on my American Civil War stuff now, and they are looking great - will try to get a photo over the weekend...

Bye! Have a great weekend if I don't get back before then!

Saying Goodbye...

Standing at the back doorstep, helmet on, ready for my morning ride to work.

"Bye, babe, see you later."

"Yeah, see you later."

"Normal time tonight?"

"Yep."

"Be good."

"Of course! I'm always good!"

[Sign] "Yes dear."

OK, I know the sigh comes across as one of resignation, but I know it is really one of those movie "My Hero" signs.

"I can't help it. I am just one of those 'Good Guys', aren't I?"

[Rolling eyes] "I'll see you later, then."


She plays it cool, but I know she loves me really!